


When You Softly Call My Name

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Short but Sometimes Sweet: Damerey Collection [11]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, POV Poe Dameron, Sequel, This is why Finn has to lock them in a closet, it's for their own good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 07:53:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14540139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: Sequel toMy Best FriendsDespite the mutiny and crushing losses incurred around the Battle of Crait, Poe Dameron thinks things might finally be going great: they have new pilots to train, a safe and secure base, and his buddies are nearby. Things are going great, until Poe realizes he's in love with one of his buddies - Rey, the last of the Jedi, the only pilot with a temper hotter than his own.This can't end well.





	1. I'll Grow Old and Start Acting My Age

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up to the Finn POV, [My Best Friends](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14480970)
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings; Poe has a really intense dream that references his own torture/Rey is tortured/threatened by Kylo Ren.

About six months after Crait, Poe makes a joke, something about X-Wings and space monsters going on a date (really, not one of his better ones), and Rey from Jakku throws her head back and laughs. She’s laughed at him before – sometimes even when he hurts himself doing something stupid, and he didn’t even mean to make her laugh – and he already knew he _liked_ her laugh.

But on that day, six months after Crait, hundreds of yards below the surface of some unnamed, unmapped planet, Rey from Jakku laughs in the middle of the base’s mess hall, and something slides into place deep inside of him, powerful and irrevocable and undeniable.

 _Ah,_ the analytical part of his brain notes. _You love her._

 _Oh gods,_ the survivalist part of his brain groans. _Rey? Seriously? The only Jedi alive? She can kick our ass, buddy._

 _Wow, she’s pretty,_ the animal part of his brain hums. _Pretty pretty pretty._

The first two parts of his brain definitely agree, and then that’s _all_ he can think about – how Rey from Jakku looks like she has starlight in her eyes when she’s happy; how Rey’s laugh sounds like it’s made of individual drops of sunshine; how Rey from Jakku is laughing at something _he_ said _; Poe Dameron,_ hotshot pilot and erstwhile renegade, made _Rey_ laugh.

 _Well shit,_ Poe realizes. _I’m fucked._

***

A week after Poe Dameron realizes he loves the clear-eyed desert beauty, the one who’d saved their asses a thousand times over since she’d stumbled into a galactic mess she had no hand in making, they’re called to stations, the sirens alerting them that this isn’t a drill.

Black Squadron flies wonderfully, in sync, and Rey flies near them, assisting with Dagger and Gold Squadrons as well, her keen Force abilities letting her disintegrate targets with an accuracy that Poe really _shouldn’t_ find so sexy, but hey, competency is attractive (there’s a reason he had a holo-poster of Leia Organa in his room growing up).

“How you doin, little Jedi?” Poe calls over the comms.

He can hear Rey snort even through the crackle of the radio. “Little? I’m basically your height, Dameron.”

“No one said the commander was large, Rey,” Jessika Pava chimes in.

“That’s enough, Black Three,” Poe laughs. “Ouch. Seriously, Rey, you got better eyes than any of us, how’s it looking?”

“Flying great, Commander, all birds look top sh--- _shit.”_

“Rey?” Poe asks, fear crawling down his spine. “What is it?”

“Something’s coming,” Rey breathes. “In the Force, I can feel it. Something – no, it couldn’t be him—”

A ship slams into view, silently, but Poe swears he can hear the space that used to be empty scream in protest as a dreadnought drops out of Hyperspace.

“He’s on that ship,” Rey says, rage stealing into her voice. “That father-murdering, Jedi-killing piece of garbage is on that ship.”

“Did you hear that guys? Kylo Ren’s come to the party, let’s make sure he doesn’t leave without a favor,” Poe calls out to all nearby squadrons.

“You got it, Black Leader,” Arana shouts. “You copy, Dagger Squadron? Let’s kick some Sith ass today.”

“Loud and clear,” Rey snarls. Poe tenses – her voice hasn’t ever sounded like that: feral, on edge, enraged. It almost doesn’t sound like her at all. A memory of Finn recalling how Rey had picked up a lightsaber (the same day she saw snow for the first time, when she was just a lost, displaced orphan from Jakku) and slashed the heir to Darth Vader almost in half, suddenly makes a lot more sense. Poe just hadn’t been able to conceive Rey committing an act of violence.

Now, watching her X-Wing jet off towards the dreadnought as if she could take on a ship that large by herself ( _well, why not. You thought that too, once_ ), Poe can see sweet-faced, kind-hearted Rey as the vicious warrior everyone’s been telling him she is.

“Formation Zorad-Prel 6,” Poe orders over the comms, Black Two and Three peeling off from the main formation to form a triad over him. “Commander,” Poe calls to his errant friend, “Commander, wait for back-up.”

Rey doesn’t wait.

“Rey!” Poe yells. “Rey, get back here.”

“Kylo Ren is on that ship,” Rey shouts back. “And I’m not leaving until one of us is dead.”

“What the _fuck_ does that mean?” Poe’s going to lose it.

“What the fuck do you think that means?” Rey answers, her ship only speeding up as Poe and his crew try to fend off a new swarm of TIE-fighters.

“You haven’t been given an order to engage, Commander!” Poe ignores the trill of BB-8, his traitorous droid reminding him that _Hero Rey does not follow your command, Master Poe!_

“I don’t need your permission to blow things up, Dameron,” Rey says, echoing Beebee’s sentiment.

“Turn around, Rey, that’s an order. Let’s not make a mistake we’ll regret,” Poe warns her.

“No,” Rey says. “Let’s.”

And then she _turns off her kriffing comms._

“Oh, kark me,” Jess whispers, forgetting that he can hear her too. “There’s _two_ of him.”

***

“What the kriffing hell was that?” Poe shouts, storming over to Rey’s X-Wing the second his canopy’s open and he’s leapt to the ground.

Knight One’s canopy is already disengaged. “I beg your pardon?” Rey stands up and takes her helmet off, bracing her hand on the side of the cockpit so she can jump down too. Poe walks all the way up to her, until there’s less than a foot of space between them, and gets right into her face.

“I said, _what the kriffing hell was that,_ Rey?” Poe wants to grab her and shake her – doesn’t she know how close she came to dying? Doesn’t she know that if she dies, it’s all over? – but she clenches her jaw, and he doesn’t really want to be thrown across the hangar, no matter how mad he is.

“I saw an opportunity and I took it,” Rey answers, breathing hard and fast through her nose, the adrenaline clearly still surging in her veins. “Nothing more or less than what you would have done, Dameron.”

“But I didn’t do it,” Poe snaps. He isn’t like that, not anymore. “It wouldn’t have benefited the squadron, so I didn’t kriffing do it.”

“I’m not in a squadron,” Rey points out. There’s quite the crowd forming now, and Poe wants to get them as far away from an audience as possible.

“Not with that attitude,” Poe throws right back. “You’re grounded.”

“What?” Rey splutters. “You—you can’t make that call.”

“Like hell I can’t, Jedi,” Poe doesn’t give her an inch, but Rey’s just as stubborn. They could be here all night, and he knows neither one of them would back down. Distantly, a thrill runs down his spine. _Not the time for a boner, Dameron._

“You aren’t my commanding officer,” Rey says. Her eyes flash in anger, but Poe isn’t going to budge from his decision.

“Bring it up with the general, then,” Poe tells her coldly. “And don’t pull that kriffing shit on my watch ever again. _Ever_ , do you hear me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rey rolls her eyes and turns to storm away. “I’m going to Command right now, Dameron, and you better hope for your own sake that Organa’s not nearly as bantha-headed as you are.”

***

Spoiler: Leia sides with Rey.

Go figure.

***

Rey’s sitting in mess the next morning when Poe walks up with a tray. He has an extra roll with his rations, swiped from Snap, who owed him one, and he settles across the table awkwardly from the Jedi.

She scowls at him and stabs her veg-meat viciously.

“Come to yell at me some more, then?” Rey asks. She’s so pissed – Poe looks a little closer, and _no_. She isn’t pissed. She’s hurt.

“I didn’t –” Poe clears his throat. “You scared me, Jedi.”

“I was scared too,” Rey says after a brief pause. When she looks up, Poe feels trapped in her gaze. “But I don’t let fear stop me.”

 _I didn’t used to, either._ Poe thinks. _And then I destroyed most of our fleet, and my friends were bombed to death before they could even get in the air, and I watched the cause I bound myself to eight years ago fall to ash due to my lack of fear._

“Sometimes a healthy amount of fear can be a good thing,” is what Poe settles on.

“I guess,” Rey shrugs, and then shoves a forkful of protein in her mouth. Poe picks his roll up and extends it over the table, raising an eyebrow when she stares at it and then him suspiciously. “You can’t win me over with food, Dameron.” She sniffs delicately, but takes the roll all the same. “It’s not going to work.”

Poe sighs dramatically and hands her the extra roll as well. Rey’s eyes light up, and she takes that one as well. “Really?” She breathes, looking like he’d just given her some kind of precious metal (and his brain definitely does not, not, _not_ go to the ring around his neck at this very moment, it definitely does not go to an image of that ring on her finger), and not just a shitty piece of ration bread. “Well, alright then.”

They exchange a conspiratorial grin, and Poe forgets why he was ever mad at her in the first place. He loves Rey, and she’s perfect, and he’ll always make her smile like this, always; he’ll never get mad at her again.

***

The promise lasts about four weeks, but then something stupid happens on a mission, and they have another all-out brawl in front of the squadrons.

Over the next weeks, he and Rey fall into a pattern of snarking at each other, fighting in public, flying perfectly well together, playing around in the mess hall, watching holo-vids after hours in each other’s rooms, snarking at each other, fighting – it’s a dizzying cycle, and Poe doesn’t know where he stands with her, but he does know the fights are getting worse and worse, and more and more frequent.

Already haunted by gut-wrenching nightmares, Poe gets the worst one yet on a random Primeday, coming up on a year after Crait.

The dream opens the same way as always, the way it has for months now:

_“Hello, Commander.” Kylo Ren cocks his head to the side and regards him as his eyes open slowly. “Welcome back.”_

_“Thanks, glad to be here,” Poe snarks, spitting out a mouthful of blood. “Let’s get this show on the road, Darth Dickwad. Who we talkin’ to today, who’s your guest of honor? Hux? Phasma? Snoke?”_

_He’s seen all these phantoms and more while strapped to this chair. Poe’s pretty sure this is a dream, he’s pretty sure if he just focuses on the ludicrousness of Kylo Ren’s stupid helmet, he’ll laugh his way through this, he’s pretty sure –_

_“It’s not my guest,” Kylo Ren points out, leaning against a tray of instruments. “It’s your guest.”_

_“My guest, huh?” Poe rolls his eyes. “That’s gotta be the stupid fuckin’ line I ever—”_

_“Bring her in,” Kylo says softly, seemingly to no one in particular._

_Her?_

_Poe’s been fairly relaxed against the restraints since he dropped into this nightmare, but he tenses up immediately at Kylo’s order._

_“Who you got, huh?” Poe licks his front teeth, the copper ringing of his own blood running down his throat._

_“Well, you’re the one who told me all about her.” If his helmet was off, Kylo Ren would be smiling, Poe knows it. “First, you told me about the droid, and that led me right to her. I thank you, for that; I would have had to wait much longer to discover her without your help. And then, when I found you again last week, you told me about how you admired her, where she likes to go when she’s afraid, what her weaknesses were – how much you loved her. That came out of your head so easily, I might not have even needed to use the Force to learn it.”_

_“No,” Poe shakes his head, violently. “No, you’re lying, no, no—”_

_Ren talks right over his stuttered denial. “And, hero that she is, the girl showed up here yesterday to save you.”_

_The door hisses open, and Stormtroopers drag a bound, bloody figure between them. They throw her at Poe’s feet, and Kylo Ren bends down and easily picks her up by the back of her tunic._

_Rey’s unconscious, her hands locked in bizarre cuffs. “Designed for the Force,” Ren explains, seeing what Poe’s staring at. “She, like you, has escaped me before. I’m not taking that chance again.” Ren strokes a finger down her face and then turns to Poe, the gleam off his black helmet not so silly anymore, not when the last of the Jedi is his captive. “Neither of you will ever be free again.”_

_“I’ll tell you anything,” Poe says, desperately. “Anything you want, any base location, any – any operative, anything – let her go, fucking –” he tries to pull free but it’s useless. “Just let her go.”_

_“I thought you couldn’t be intimidated.” Kylo Ren sounds dispassionate in his judgment of Poe, but Poe’s beyond caring._

_Let her go, his mind screams. He knows Ren can hear that, too. Let her go, let her go, lethergolethergolethergo._

_“No, I don’t think so. I want you to know. I want to watch as you learn the inescapable truth: you will lose her in every possible way,” Ren says, using the Force to leave Rey suspended in the air in front of him, like a puppet with the strings pulled taut. Poe thrashes against his restraints when Ren tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear almost lovingly._

_“Fucking touch her again,” Poe sobs, tugging hard enough on his right arm’s cuffs that he draws blood. “I’ll fucking kill you.”_

_“Would you look at that, pilot,” Ren tilts his head and regards Poe’s panicked expression. “We found something you can’t outfly.” He waves a hand over Rey’s temple, helmet still turned to Poe, who’s beyond begging now and is just sobbing with rage and fear. “Wake up, sweetheart.”_

_Rey’s eyes don’t open, but she does start screaming._

Poe wakes up screaming for Rey, and he thrashes so hard he falls out of bed. Beebee coos worriedly and rolls towards him, bumping into Poe’s side as he pants for breath.

[Do you require Hero Rey?] it asks, concerned. [You called for her].

“No!” Poe shouts, still worked up, and BB-8 rolls back reproachfully. He clears his throat and tries again, a little more calmly: “No, thank you Beebee. She uh – she shouldn’t know about that.”

[If you need her, I can get her] Beebee presses, and gods, it’s tempting.

“No.” Poe shakes his head, definitively. “No, Beebee, I’ll be fine honest.”

He’s definitely not fine, and he ends up lying flat on his bunk until Standard Dawn, staring at the ceiling and begging his brain to let go of the image of Rey screaming in pain, helpless, and dying ( _all his fault, it’s always his fault, his and his alone_ ).

***

A few hours after he gets out of bed, the at-stations sirens call. It’s not a drill.

They have their mission, planet-side this time, and to his intense, sleep-deprived horror, Rey executes a ridiculously dangerous maneuver that involves flying through an actual, erupting volcano.

When he lands back at base, Poe fights the urge to pull her out of her X-Wing, so he can fervently check her for any injuries, run his calloused hands over her precious body to make sure she didn’t hurt herself, to make sure she didn’t pay for her recklessness in blood; he resists the urge to pull her out of her X-Wing and kiss her hard enough that she has a good reason to never take a risk again.

Poe fights the urge to tell her he loves her. He yells at the Jedi Commander instead, and he calls her _reckless,_ and _trigger-happy,_ and _foolish,_ and a whole host of things his XOs used to yell at him. Rey looks sad for a millisecond before she looks pissed, and then her mouth opens so she can curse at him in Huttese.

He stares at her in anger; she knows he doesn’t speak that language. So, he yells back at her in Yavinese.

Rey flips him off, clearly understanding the meaning of his statement. “I have no idea why you’re so pissed in the first place, Dameron!” she shouts at him. Pava looks up from her repair pack to raise her eyebrows: good, so Poe isn’t the only person who thinks his anger’s got a pretty clear fuckin’ reason.

“Because Rey, you’re so kriffing determined to die up there! It’s ridiculous, the risks you’re willing to take.”

“The risks are necessary,” she argues, “I could sense what I needed to do in the Force, so I did it. I knew it was going to work, I could feel it!”

Poe huffs angrily. It’s definitely a sound he’s heard Leia Organa make in his general direction. This must be the universe punishing him for his past insubordination.

“They are not necessary,” he throws back at her. “Your death is not necessary, especially not if you die on some shitty ass mission, especially not when you’re acting on a “feeling” you got through the Force that you needed to do it.”

“If I die, it will be because the Force wills it,” Rey snaps, looking more ruffled than he’s seen her. “Honestly, Commander Dameron, this is what it means to be a Jedi. You can’t take it personally if I ignore your suggestion, not if the Force tells me to do something different.”

“That’s a real great excuse for your recklessness,” Poe knows he’s yelling, gods, why is he yelling at her, this is a wreck, an absolute catastrophe, _stop yelling at the girl you love, laser brain, she’s upset, and you should be holding her in private, not screaming at her in public._ Unfortunately, Poe’s mouth and Poe’s brain are not in line with each other. A common occurrence. “You can’t just try to sacrifice yourself – which, by the way, would knock our squadron down a pilot _and_ a bird – and claim it’s some mystic Jedi poodoo. You just can’t, Rey. I haven’t lost a pilot since _Raddus_ went down, and you’re not ruining that record. You’re part of this team, and your stupid stunt could have cost us a lot today.”

“Well, good to know my hypothetical death boils down to an X-Wing and your reputation.” Rey’s not yelling back anymore, but something’s dangerously closed off in her face. “That’s what it comes down to, right? What’s good for the Resistance? Or no, I’m sorry –  what’s good for your pride?” Rey scoffs, disdainfully. “Don’t worry, Commander, I won’t fly Black Squadron next time, I’d hate to _ruin your record_ when I die.”

 _Oh kriff._ “That is _not_ what I was trying to say, Rey, and you –”

“Switch off.” Rey slaps her helmet into his chest as she storms past him. “And my title is Commander, Dameron. Don’t karking forget it.” Poe watches as she storms out of the hangar.

Poe’s panting like he’s just run thirty klicks, and when he turns back to his crew, they’re staring at him with a variety of expressions, from horror to confusion to fascination. “What the hell do you think you’re looking at,” Poe barks. “Get your X-Wings cleared by maintenance. We don’t know the next time we’re going up, and you need to be ready. Go. Now!” They scurry to follow his orders, now all looking terrified, and Poe curses. He walks towards the exit of the hangar, but Rey’s long gone by now, so he takes the helmet in his hand and hurls it, hard, towards the opposite wall.

“Watch it, Commander,” Captain Arana snaps from his left. He storms up to Poe and grabs him by the arm, and Poe has half a mind to hit him. “And if you and Rey are having trouble in the bedroom, keep it to yourselves,” Iolo hisses, quiet enough that no one could hear it in the noise of the bay.

“We aren’t together,” Poe snaps right back.

“Gods, you’re useless.” Iolo releases him and rolls his eyes, and walks off to talk to Dagger squadron.

Finn’s standing near a pile of storage crates, arms folded across his chest and an unreadable expression on his face.

“Don’t tell me you’re pissed at me too, buddy,” Poe says wearily.

“Not pissed.” Finn shakes his head. “Although, you should apologize to Rey.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Poe rubs a hand over his face. “I’ll let her cool off first. Catch her at the party later.”

“Yeah,” Finn nods in agreement. “You do that.” He walks off, shaking his head and muttering under his breath about ‘idiots,’ but Poe’s too tired to ask what he means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post #2 for May the Fourth Be With You , done :)
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter 2 will be posted this weekend <3


	2. Call Me a Safe Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey talk at a party, Poe makes a bad choice while drunk; Finn locks them in a closet and they have a more productive conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Poe kisses someone (not Rey) while drunk; Poe and Rey have some sexy times in a closet.

It’s a typical full-throttle Resistance party, the kind where they all cut loose for a few hours and pretend that death isn’t definitely imminent and waiting for them at every turn; but, Poe’s plenty nervous about something _other_ than death, so he’s several drinks in at the party when Rey shows up.

She looks tired and stressed, but she’s wearing a pretty blue tunic that he knows he hasn’t seen before, paired with soft, cream colored leggings, and he might spend more than a few seconds imagining how they would feel under his hands.

Even inebriated, Poe Dameron is still A Cool Guy, so he manages to wait about ten minutes before going over to talk to her. When he walks up, he sees her mutter something under her breath, her eyes closing and her face becoming momentarily peaceful. _Is she Jedi-meditating? To de-stress from the idea of talking to me? That can’t be good._

Drunk Poe isn’t really listening to Regular Poe’s voice of reason, so he talks to her anyway.

“What’s up, Jedi?” He asks. _Yeah, that’s a real winner of an opening line._

“Finn suggested I come,” Rey shrugs. “But he vanished somewhere with Rose.” She pretends to look irritated, but she smiles softly. Rey loves both Finn and Rose unconditionally, anyone with eyes can see that. Poe wonders if she spares him the same level of affection; he wonders if she’ll be as kind when he inevitably spews his emotions on her in the next half hour.

_Play it cool, play it cool._

“So you’re by yourself?” He blurts out. He’s honestly trying to see if she brought a date, if she’s here with someone – there’s an uncomfortable, snarling beast in his chest, not unlike a Wampa, that certainly does not like the idea of Rey here with someone.

“I mean, I’m talking to you, aren’t I?” Rey looks mildly disgruntled, and then she rolls her eyes. “No, sorry, I forgot, you don’t want to talk to me unless you’re yelling at me.” Her jaw is tight, and Poe takes a deep, steadying breath to clear his head. It doesn’t work.

“Look, Jedi, I didn’t yell at you because I was worried about losing a plane, or my record, or any of that shit,” Poe says, his words running together from anxiety and the Corellian whisky in his hand.

“Oh.” That’s all Rey says, arms folded over her chest. She looks nervous now, and she keeps eyeing the crowd behind him. Right. She hates large groups of people.

“Yeah, oh.” Poe clears his throat. _Now or never, flyboy._ “I yelled because I would be pissed, not pissed really, but – I don’t know what we’d do if we lost you. You’re too important to lose.”

“Because I’m the last of the Jedi, yeah,” Rey sighs, and then smiles at him tightly. “I get it, Dameron.”

“No,” Poe shakes his head. Weren’t they friends before things got so weird? Aren’t they still friends? Why does everything feel like a battle now? _Because you made it that way, bantha breath._ “No, Rey.” If he weren’t so drunk he wouldn’t say this, but, “It’s not that you’re the only Jedi. You’re the only Rey.”

“I’m sure there are other people named Rey in the galaxy, Poe.” She smiles though, genuinely, and he knows he might actually be getting through to her. It’s the first time she’s given him a real smile in weeks, and gods, he clings to it, and it makes him stupid with hope.

So, he says: “Not what I meant. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that, but I was scared. If we lost you – If _I_ lost you – Rey, I’ve been all over this stupid galaxy, and I’ve seen almost everything. But I have never seen anything that shines the way you do. You’re luminous, Rey.” And he knows he must be a little loose on his feet right now because Rey’s much closer than she was a second ago. “You’re like starlight.”

Rey’s blushing, and he knows the alcohol isn’t making him imagine that, and she blinks, twice. “Do you mean that?” She asks, eyes wide. “Poe – are you messing with me?”

“No,” he answers solemnly. “Rey, do you wanna get out of h—”

“There you are, Jedi!” Iolo Arana appears out of nowhere, holding two cups of hull stripper. He hands one to Rey, and then slings his now free arm around her shoulders. “Was looking everywhere for you.”

Rey looks at Iolo and then back at Poe, something strange on her face, but Poe’s too drunk and too embarrassed to analyze it. Gods, he made a total ass out of himself, didn’t he.

“Poe,” Rey says warningly, reaching out for him from under Iolo’s arm. “Poe, wait –”

“Forget it,” Poe waves her off and tries to smile. “Forget I said anything. I know I’ll have forgotten it in the morning.” She looks stricken, that’s the word, she looks stricken, probably because she feels bad for him, and Poe shrugs and says goodbye to the happy couple and stumbles off through the party.

He makes himself drink water until he’s slightly more clear-headed, and half an hour later, when a pretty girl whose name he didn’t quite catch – but he does remember that she’s training to be a pilot – lurches forward to kiss him mid-conversation, he shrugs and accepts it. She’s cute, and nice, and he feels a little bad because the entire half-minute their mouths are touching, all he’s thinking is that the girl’s about four inches too short for this to feel right, her hair’s just a little too long, just a little too neat.

The young woman doesn’t seem to mind his distraction, and she breaks away giggling and disappears into the party before Poe can remember to ask for her name. His eyes dart to the side, as if he can tell something’s wrong, and sure enough –

Rey’s vanishing out the door, about twenty feet away. Whatever. She’s on a date, with a handsome, nice, popular pilot no less. He can kiss whoever the kriff he wants.

About five seconds after the ungenerous thought, Poe’s running towards the door, but someone catches him.

“You look like you’ve seen a Force ghost.” Iolo Arana’s gripping his arm and frowning at him. “And, did you mean to make the Jedi cry with your little stunt?”

“She was crying?” _Kriff._ “Well, she’s your girlfriend, you should go check on her.”

Iolo looks at him like he’d suddenly sprouted lekku. “What do you mean she’s my girlfriend?”

“Whatever, man, if you’re not doing labels that’s not really my business.” Poe’s sobering up, but not quickly enough for this conversation.

“You’re an idiot, Commander,” Iolo releases his arm, finally and steps back. “I was getting Rey a drink because she told me she was too nervous to have a good time, and I wanted to help her loosen up a little because the girl deserves it. Trust me, I wouldn’t say no if she asked, but – we’re definitely not dating. I’m definitely not who she’s interested in.”

“Oh.” _Oh gods, I’m gonna throw up._ “Oh, Force, I just—”

“Fucked up?” Iolo scowls at him. “You know, we give each other a hard time, and I knew you were an ass, but I never thought you were cruel. Kriff.” Iolo walks away, shaking his head, and Poe stumbles out into the hallway.

His stomach is roiling and his heart is pounding in his ears – he hasn’t felt this shitty since _The Finalizer,_ this is shittier than he felt when he ejected from a X-Wing for the first time. Poe manages to stumble to the corner before he vomits, everywhere – so maybe part of this sudden awful feeling is physical – and then somehow his feet drag him to a familiar door.

“Rey,” he calls, his throat sore so his voice rasps. “Rey, sweetheart, open the door.” His tongue is thick in his mouth and his words are slurring. “Rey, please.”

“Get the fuck away from my door,” she shouts through the durasteel. “You have a date to finish, Commander.”

“No, Rey, listen to me,” Poe bangs on the door again. “Please, just listen to me, I don’t even know who that girl was, I just-“

The door hisses open, and Rey storms past him, dressed in training clothes, her lightsaber on her hip and staff strapped to her back.

“Where are you going?” He asks, stumbling towards her.

“Away from you,” she snaps. “Switch off, Dameron.”

“No, Rey, please, I meant it, I don’t even know that girl’s name.”

“And why the kriff would that make things better?” Rey spins on her heel, and Poe understands what the phrase ‘spitting mad’ means. “You know what, you can fuck whoever you want, Poe, it doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on my life.”

“I didn’t—” Poe shakes his head and reaches out for her. “I wouldn’t, Rey, come on, just listen—” He’s still drunk, and he stumbles as he reaches out for her, and Rey scoffs before pivoting and storming down the corridor.

“Save your words. I’ll see you tomorrow for drills, Commander Dameron,” she calls over her shoulder, sprinting for the exit. “And don’t fucking talk to me unless it’s about work.”

Poe vomits again, twice, before he gets to his room. Finn shows up an hour or so later, clearly ready to yell at him, but when he sees that Poe’s been crying (sobbing, really, absolutely choking on his tears while clutching his mother’s ring in his hands, homesick and lovesick, and generally sick) he sighs and holds his arms out for a hug instead.

He cries into Finn’s shoulder for a half hour after that, and Beebee regards them both with obvious concern, and eventually he passes out on his bunk, a bucket nearby in case he hurls again, and Finn sitting in the chair and staring at him, something on his face that Poe’s too exhausted to analyze.

***

The next day, he’s fidgeting in the engine of his X-Wing. This would go a lot faster if Rose were here, but she’s not on shift until later. It would also go a lot faster if Rey were talking to him, but she’s been training all morning and took herself off the schedule for the hangar. She doesn’t technically have to be in here, ever, but she likes it. She likes using her hands and fixing problems up close and helping people, and it wounds him that she’d deny herself that happiness just to avoid seeing him.

Beebee rolls up to him quickly after he’s been there for a few hours, and sweat’s dripping down his brow. “Hey buddy,” he says, distracted still, but Beebee’s whirring anxiously and spinning in circles, spitting out Binary so fast Poe can barely translate.

“What?” He furrows his brow and sets his wrench down to give the chubby little droid his full attention. “What about Rey?’

Beebee beeps again, and Pava drops her tools in the neighboring bay.

“Rey?” Poe says, slowly. “Bleeding? Accident?”

Beebee trills in confirmation and then spits out more information. “She’s – she’s – _you think she might be dying and you came to me and not to fucking medical?”_ Poe shouts the last part, already leaping to his feet and tearing for the door. “Godsdamnit, BB-8, that is not fucking protocol.” Beebee shrieks and rolls ahead of him quickly, and Poe tries his best to keep up.

No other information comes out of his jackass droid, and Poe tries not to let the panic overwhelm him as he tears down the hall. Did she hurt herself training? Did she fall? Did something fall _on_ her? What –

All the horrible fucking nightmares he’s been having the last few months crash into him as he runs, Rey bleeding, Rey choking, Rey screaming, Rey dying-

He turns a corner, and sees Finn talking to Beebee, an open door next to him. _Why doesn’t Finn look more concerned?_ A distant part of his brain questions. He doesn’t have time to analyze it though, his shoulder glancing into a wall as he tries to control his turn and fails. It doesn’t slow him down as he runs up to his friend, demanding answers.

 “Finn, BB-8 told me, there was an accident?” He grabs Finn by the shoulders, and his friend looks startled. “With Rey? He wouldn’t tell me anything else, is she in Med Bay? Is she okay? Gods, tell me she’s okay, tell me she’s fine, fucking hells, I can’t do this, Finn, buddy, why aren’t you answering me?”

“Because I’m fine, you nerf herder,” the low, musical voice of the galaxy’s most perfect woman chimes from inside the open doorway.

“What?” Poe turns away from Finn and sees her standing in a closet, looking confused. “Holy mother of – Rey, Beebee said you were _hurt,_ are you really—”

“Okay, time for you two to talk it out!” Finn announces and shoves Poe brutally into the closet with Rey. “Now, BB!”

Poe slams into the Jedi, and then he turns to demand an explanation, but the doors are hissing shut. Rey shoves Poe off of her into the wall – there’s not a lot of room in here – and bangs on the door.

“What the kark do you think you’re doing, Finn?” Rey screams, and it echoes in the small space.

“This is for your own good!” He answers, voice muffled by the door, and he bangs on it for good measure, apparently. You two aren’t coming out until you talk to each other.”

Thank the gods there’s a lightbulb in here, but all it accomplishes right now is ensuring Poe can see how pissed off Rey looks. “About what?” Poe shouts, banging on the door to get his friend’s attention. “Finn, buddy, let us out, don’t trap me in here.”

“You? Trapped in here? We’re both trapped in here! Or do you just mean you’re trapped in here _with me.”_ Rey scowls at him, and Poe rolls his eyes, his anxiety reaching unheard of levels.

“Oh, don’t misunderstand what I said on purpose, you know that’s not what I meant,” Poe begs. He bangs again on the door, desperately. “C’mon, Finn, she has her lightsaber with her, she might actually kill me.”

“Don’t tempt me, flyboy.” Rey huffs and flops down on a storage crate in the corner.

He bangs his fist on the door one more time, ineffectually. “Gods,” he mutters, gripping his hair and pulling. “Gods.”

“I’m not a sarlaac, Dameron, I’m not going to eat you.” When he looks at her, Rey’s knees are pulled up to her chest, head on her knees,  hands behind her head. She looks small, and she sounds impossibly sad even while joking. “I know you hate me for some reason, but I don’t particularly care, and I’m not really prone to revenge.”

“I—I don’t hate you, Rey.” Poe stares at her in surprise. “Why would you think I hate you?” He doesn’t hate anyone who isn’t named Kylo Ren or fighting to destroy the galaxy, and his feelings for Rey couldn’t be farther from hate. Maker, he’s loved her for so long now, he’s forgotten what Poe Dameron looks like when he’s not in love with Rey.

“You know,” Rey looks up from her knees, and it hits him like battering ram cannon when he sees that her eyes are red, the track of a single tear still shining on her cheek. “You’ve – we’ve done nothing but fight for weeks, now. Everything I do is wrong, apparently, everything I do infuriates you. I don’t know where to step or what to say, what to do to get you to stop being so angry with me. I get that you might hate me, I just wish I knew why.” She goes back to staring at her knees after that, and Poe tries his hardest not to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. That wouldn’t be as good as explaining himself.

“I don’t hate you at all,” Poe says instead, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck while staring at the durasteel wall that separates him from freedom from his embarrassment. _You probably couldn’t outrun this, Dameron. This was always going to have to happen._ “Hate couldn’t be farther from – I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, just, gods, how did this get so kriffed up?” He asks, rhetorically. “Rey, I—I know I’ve been an ass to you the last few weeks, but it’s like you’re getting more and more reckless. And I literally cannot sit by and watch you risk your life day in and day out without saying something, you’re too damn important, you’re too—”

“Luminous?” He turns to see Rey standing next to him, smiling at him. “I’m not risking my life on purpose, you know. I actually don’t want to die. But sometimes I think the Force is going to require it, for all this to end.” She wraps her arms around the middle and stares at the floor, her jaw slightly clenched.

“What?” Poe stares at her, willing her to look back him, to look up and laugh like she was telling the world’s worst joke. “Tell me you aren’t serious.”

“I am.” Rey bites her lip and raises her eyes to his. “I am, Poe. I … I’m not going to give up or anything, but I’m prepared to die, if it means the Resistance survives.”

“Nope.” Poe shakes his head, adamantly. “No offense, but that’s a stupid ass idea. You aren’t going to die. Nuh-uh. I forbid it.”

“You can’t forbid the Force, Poe.” Rey’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes, and Poe grabs her small shoulders so she can’t look away this time.

“No, I certainly fucking can. I forbid the Force from taking lives every time I step in an X-Wing. It doesn’t get to take you, not you, never you.”

“Poe.” Rey blinks and he remembers that he’s still holding her. He releases her as quickly as possible and clears his throat.

“Sorry. I know, I can be intense, I’m sorry. That’s just one reason I’m still single.” _Danger,_ his brain warns. _This is dangerous territory, Commander._

“There are other reasons?” Rey asks, laughing.

“Well, for another, the girl I’m in love with thinks I hate her.”

_Oh fuck you, you fucking idiot._

“She does?” Rey’s brow furrows briefly and then straightens back out almost comically. “She – _oh._ ”

“Yeah,” Poe bangs his head on the durasteel and closes his eyes, hoping that somehow this is all a weird dream. “Yeah, she does, and I really don’t hate her, but I kriff things up with her all the time because if I’m not in a plane, I’m no good for things. Now, if you don’t mind, Rey, I’m going to phase into this wall somehow and get out of here. Don’t worry, I’ll come back for you.” He bangs his head into the wall again. “Didn’t work. Give it time, I think we’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

“Pleasantly surprised when you concuss yourself?” Rey asks, and suddenly her hand is on her elbow. “Poe, look at me.” He squeezes his eyes shut more, stubbornly, willing this whole situation to go away. “Poe, please.” Her voice sounds different than normal, and when he turns around, her face looks – shy. Not mad, or weirded out, or disgusted. Just shy, and maybe a little happy.

“Maybe the girl’s an idiot, too,” she says.

Poe can’t really formulate a thought right now, so he goes with: “I never said I was an _idiot_ , per se.”

“Come on, flyboy, I’m trying to help you out here.” Poe nods, chagrined, and she smiles at him. Then, she takes his hand from where it’s resting on the wall, and laces her fingers through his. “So, maybe that girl’s in love with you too, and it makes her angry because it makes her scared, how much she likes you because she hasn’t ever had anyone to love, and it’s scary, and she’s learned that fear is what kills you, fear is what makes you hesitate, and what forces you to make bad decisions. So, maybe she never said anything, especially after you started acting like she was bantha shit.”

“You’re not bantha shit, I don’t think that,” Poe protests, but she silences him with a look ( _gods, I thought Dad was kidding about strong women and their ability to kick Dameron ass without lifting a finger_ ).

“I’m trying to tell you I love you, too.” Rey squeezes his hand softly. “Idiot.”

“Takes one to know one,” Poe returns, and then winces because gods, it’s like he’s twelve years old again.

“It really does,” Rey laughs, and then she tugs him by the hand to face her, and then her lips are on his and it’s one of the shortest, most chaste kisses of his adult life, but Poe knows it’s the best he’s ever had. He’s still a little in shock, so he doesn’t say anything after she steps away again, but his arms suddenly ache with the urge to pull her close to him. “Sorry if that was bad.”

“Why would I think that was bad?” Poe asks breathlessly. “That was incredible.”

“That was my first kiss,” Rey laughs, shyly.

“Oh,” Poe blinks stupidly. “Oh, kriffing—”

“Can we try again?” Rey asks, and Poe nods because _of course they can._ He steps forward this time, ready now, as ready as he’ll ever be, and he lets his hands tangle in her hair while he presses up against her, his tongue eventually slipping out to run along her bottom lip. Rey sighs and that sound’s going to kill him, it’s really going to reach down inside him and kill him because how is he ever going to think about anything besides that sound now?

“Rey,” he murmurs, pulling back slightly if only so that he can angle his head and kiss her neck bruisingly for several long moments. 

“Poe,” she answers, laughing slightly and tugging at his hair. “Want more.”

Poe does too, and it’s intuitive when Rey leaps upward; Poe grabs her under the ass so she can wrap her legs around his waist, and he walks forward over the few feet of space in the closet so he can slam her back up against the wall. Rey moans in into his mouth, and Poe lets a hand travel up to her waist, where he lets it rest, briefly.

“Can I,” he clears his throat and kisses her once more, almost chastely. “Rey, sweetheart, can I touch you?”

“Yes,” Rey nods, and shifts her hips, wiggling over the head of his now-definitely-hard-cock. “Gods, yes.” Poe moans, half from her answer, and half from the new friction, and he cups her breast over her tunic, massaging as well as he can over the multiple layers of fabric. He switches to kissing at her neck again; while he does, he can distantly hear a door open and close, but he can’t focus on anything besides the task at hand. She’ll have a mark there tomorrow, and something flares in his stomach at the sharp sound Rey makes when his lips are sucking at her skin and he’s still toying with a breast. Rey keens, clearly enjoying the sensation, and she tugs him up by his hair to kiss him again.

It’s all a littletoomuch, just a littletoofast, and Poe’s weirdly close to finishing in his pants, something he hasn’t done since his first year at the Academy. _That was my first kiss,_ Rey’s words echo in his head, and Poe stiffens, slightly, realizing the further implication of that statement. Rey takes the moment of his distraction to twist her hand underneath her hips to scrabble at the fastening of his pants, and kiss his neck ferociously at the same time.

“Wait,” Poe remembers that he has a valid reason to put a brief stop to this. “Rey, sweetheart, wait a second.” Her hand leaves his pants but her lips don’t leave his throat.

“What?” She asks, breathing into his skin, and Poe’s eyes threaten to roll back into his head.

“Can’t do this,” Poe shakes his head, and then moans when Rey drags her tongue from his collarbone to the spot under his ear that’s always been able to make him cum in a passionate moment.

“Why not?” Rey laughs. “I want to, and I’m assuming you want to.” She shifts her hips for emphasis, and that makes what he has to say even more difficult.

“Of course I want to, but I can’t—” Poe gasps for air while Rey sucks on his pulse point. _How does she pick up on shit so kriffing quickly?_ “I cannot in good conscience fuck you against the wall for your first time, Sunshine.”

“Sunshine?” Rey laughs. “That’s new, Commander.” And holy gods and all the hells combined, it should be illegal for her to address him by his title while she’s bearing down on his straining erection. Maker forgive him, his resolve is _not_ this strong.

“Not that new,” Poe mutters, taking the opportunity to nuzzle into the soft skin under her ear. He kisses her, open-mouthed, and enjoys the way her hips buck in response. “Call you that in my head, sometimes, usually when you’re flying and your face lights up, or when you’re excited about something or when you try a new food, or when you learn a new thing and you smile, and it just about breaks my heart to see how lovely you are. I wish I could see the galaxy through your eyes, Rey.”

“Really?” Rey asks, softly, and he pulls back to see her face. Rey looks heartbreakingly vulnerable. “You really – you think that way about me?”

“Of course I do,” Poe smiles at her, confused. “I told you I love you, sweetheart. Of course I think that way about you.”

“I didn’t think anyone thought of me as anything but a Jedi,” Rey confesses, still looking vulnerable. Poe sets her down and kisses her softly, his hands gentle against her jaw.

“Rey, baby,” he whispers. “I love that you’re a Jedi, and I very much appreciate that you could kick my ass into the next star system without breaking a sweat, but – you’re so much more than a Jedi. You’re Rey, and you’re special for a thousand and one reasons besides your ability to use the Force.” He kisses her again, and Rey’s hands frame his face, mirroring him. “I can list them, for you, if you want.”

“You should kiss me instead,” Rey suggests, and Poe obliges all too happily. It’s slower now, and much, much sweeter, but Poe doesn’t want her any less.

“I love you,” Rey says, softly, once they’ve broken apart and are just holding each other, foreheads pressed together.

“Love you too.” Poe kisses her nose and smiles at her.

“Want to go back to your room?” Rey asks slyly, biting her lip and smiling at him. “Or do you have something against me losing my virginity in your bunk, too?”

Poe drops his head to the juncture between her neck and shoulder and groans, loudly. “Holy kriff, Sunshine.”

“Is that a yes, you do have something against the idea?” Rey teases him, carding her fingers through his now surely-mussed-to-hells curls.

“It’s a ‘race you there, Sunshine,’” Poe corrects her, biting at the soft skin of her neck before straightening up.

“Hmm.” Rey leans forward and kisses him until he’s dizzy, her hands braced against his chest and her body flush against his own. “You’re on, Commander.” She’s opening the door through the Force and sprinting out the door before he’s even opened his eyes from the intensity of the kiss.

“Cheater!” Poe howls. “You are a _cheater_.” He sprints after Rey, Rey the last Jedi, the most incredible person he’s ever known.

They fly through the halls, both of them laughing harder than he thought was humanly possible, and when they pass BB-8 and Finn standing near the mess, he doesn’t even pause, but he still jabs his finger at them and shouts, “You! We are having a _talk_ later about boundaries.”

Poe keeps running after Rey, who’s going to beat him to his quarters, and he doesn’t even break stride when he hears Finn shout, “You’re welcome!”

Yeah. They’re going to be having a definite talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not saying there's a super smutty potential third chapter/standalone one-shot where they come back to that closet, but....

**Author's Note:**

> Post #2 for May the Fourth Be With You , done :)
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter 2 will be posted this weekend <3


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